The 10 Rules of Riddling Etiquette
From The Riddle Master’s Guide to Riddle Etiquette
by The Riddler
(Frank Gorshin)
as told to Craig Riggs
(at the Mallard Inn Restaurant, Cherry Hill, N.J. circa 1975)

Rule #1
All riddles are fair game. From weak sister puns to highly analytical brain teasers and everything in between.
Switcheroos, Doublebacks, Non Sequitors, Groaners, even certain poems qualify and nothing is considered stupid.

Rule #2
Except for Knock-Knock jokes. You call that a riddle? Pffft!

Rule #3
Rule number 3 has recently been done away with. It discussed under what circumstances a riddle could be considered so dumb it would earn the teller a punch in the schnoz.
It was determined that this was in conflict with Rule #1.

Rule #4
No fair cheatin’!
This was put in because of the Internet (Okay, Frank didn’t say this one…after all, it was 1975…but he did talk about not using something called an “encyclopedia”. Never heard of it, right? It was what we used for Google before there was Google.
It was called a “book”.
*sigh*…I miss “books”…).
No using the Internet unless the teller admits that the answer is just too weird for anyone to actually guess.
Other than that, NO GOOGLE!

Rule #5
Don’t tell a riddle you don’t know the answer to. It just makes you look pathetic.
(I actually do have one of these…it’s a math thingy that I have been working on for over 50 years. It broke my spirit and kept me from entering the arena of Professional Riddling. I was sooooo close to the Big Leagues).
See? Pathetic, right?

Rule #6
No meanness.
An affirmative response to the question “Would you like a hertz donut?” followed by a punch in the arm and an exclamation of “HURTS, DON’T IT!” is decidedly NOT riddle worthy.

Rule #7
If you already know the answer because you’ve heard it before, ‘fess up.
Don’t be actin’ like you got the answer to the Two Super Computers riddle right away ’cause yer some sorta riddle whiz when you actually already knew the answer where it takes most folks several days to figure it out, if they figure it out at all.
(Note to Joey: Oh, you haven’t heard the Two Super Computers riddle? When you get the one about the boat, it’s coming next.
Buckle your seat belt.)

Rule #8
When violating rule # 7 (and you WILL! Sooner or later every Riddler falls victim to the temptation) at least have the common courtesy to not answer right away…give it at least a little time. I mean sheeesh, a little self respect, if you please.

Rule #9
When in doubt, rely on the Classics.
“Why do ducks have flat feet?”
“From stamping out forest fires.”
“Why do elephants have flat feet?”
“From stamping out flaming ducks.”
A classic example of the Doubleback…that stuff just never gets old.

Rule #10
Adam West (Batman) was a schmuck!
15 takes to get the line “I should have wound my watch.” into the film can!
What a moron! And he’s the star?
I was the closest they ever came to having any real talent on that show!

(I know this last one isn’t really a rule, but by the end of dinner Frank was starting to drool a bit and was taking to wandering off on odd subjects.)

There will be a test